“I must learn to love the fool in me the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries” Theodore Isaac Rubin 

SO I Meet someone new & wonder how things are going to go I guess I got used to being a Little Spoiled getting cards or little gifts every once in a while Maybe I'm a little more of a physical person? I like to hold hands & be held if we lay on the couch or go to sleep maybe a kiss goodnight doesn't have to be sex I'm not that bad lol everyone is so different in things they do Guys are different I know girls are too anyway I met Country lol & I LOVE being in the county the country living is so much better than city life I LOVE driving through all of the corn fields on the way to work or home it is Beautiful! I have learned some things about myself while doing so I  realize I feel like I give too much & dont expect ne  thing in return except for acceptance & maybe a kiss here or there thats all I want Acceptance someone to acknowledge I am there & am willing to try to make them happy & do things for them like cook or clean but it cant be one sided I need something in return I know I am not the most important aspect of anyone elses life but my daughters but one day I will be  ONE DAY  I would love to be re married & possibly have another baby BUT the way things are looking I doubt it will happen I'll be just like my mom & have only one little girl & do my best to raise her the best I can I keep telling myself & everyone else everything happens for a reason & then times like this I think what in the hell is the reason? lol all i want is to be happy ike everyone else no relationship is perfect hell i dont even know if you can call what i am doing a relationship  he doesn't like "labels" or "status" I feel i need to "define" everything I'm a litle ocd like that i guess but i love how no matter who you meet or try to have a "relationship" witn in some form or fashion there is Always something to learn about them or yourself

 So here I am kicked back bored off my ass on this dam computer where I am too much because I don't really talk to anyone else other than who I am with at the time I don't even talk to bb or brina like I need to or faye everyone has their own life & instead of spending time with mak I'm feeling crappy abt the situation i'm in my last relationship BURNED me pretty bad & i still dont feel like i can forgive & forget like I need to like God would want me to & That is a whole other can of worms GOD  I got to reading a verse in the Bible where it was talking about if you were married to someone who doesnt go to church then you keep going & they'll see you going..... I'd have to look it up again so here I go getting confused... I start thinking OK i"m going to find me a Man of God & be happy.... well then I found someone & he wasnt that great then I ran into Country & absolutely adore him & his famly but deep down IDK if it would really work long term & he is NOT in any situation to worry abt me at all but thats what I want so bad is Acknowledgment & Acceptance from someone to feel needed & wanted by someone of the opposite sex. I shouldnt have to feel like i cant be happy with just me & mak  It is just Human Nature & t is just not my time According to God & I just need to get over it & take my ass to bed & finish this later........ sorry to bore you if you made it to the end you need a damn cookie so call me & maybe if i like you i"ll cook you one  (:

 Goodnight